The Diary Of An Insane Bat Mom

Around this time last year, I found myself at the lowest point in my life. My heart was broken, and depression consumed me, causing me to spiral out of control. Every day felt like a battle just to keep my head above water as I struggled to crawl out of the pit of despair. I spent months confined to my bed, lacking the energy or desire to do even the simplest tasks like showering or cleaning my house. But as time passed, I began to slowly pick myself up from the darkness. Usagi Tsukino, Sailor Moon (1992) Like a phoenix rising from its ashes, my journey of healing commenced with a life-changing event: receiving an acceptance letter from Concordia University. I was ecstatic to be admitted into my first-choice program, English Literature, even though I missed the deadline for the Fall Semester, and my studies would begin in the Winter. This opportunity motivated me to reignite my passions for reading and blogging, which brought genuine happiness into my life once again. When school star

''Some men are like chocolate But most of them are like shit And if you don't have the experience To spot that tiny difference You're likely to fall for all of it.''  Source: Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows, Some Men Are Like Chocolate, 2017, Les Fleurs Du Mal Album  "I spent months crying or waiting for someone who only gave me breadcrumbs'' Is a quote I heard someone say and  I can unfortunately relate to this sentiment where heartache intertwines with anticipation, for I too have dwelled in its melancholic embrace. And now, as I witness others experiencing this torment, it ignites a spark of inspiration within me, compelling me to write. I eventually recognised that I had expended countless months blaming myself for pursuing an illusion, an idea of someone or the mere concept of a relationship that I yearned for. Instead, I should have invested my time and energy in endeavours that truly mattered to me. Eventually, I took my power ba

Setting a butterfly free ( Meer ) Letting go of situations, people, jobs, and things that no longer serve you or your happiness is a step towards a productive life. Sometimes the decision itself to walk away is a difficult one to make but usually, in life, the most difficult decisions are the best ones. It doesn't matter what career you have or where you are in a personal relationship. Toxic is toxic. It is imperative to make sure you are living your life to its fullest. We often forget that our time here is limited and we need to make the best of it instead of just squandering it away on someone or a situation that is really doing more harm than good. Sometimes, we just need to walk away and focus on the things that matter to us. It sounds simple, doesn't it? Turns out, there is a whole process of letting go and it isn't as easy as we may think it is.  Why do we Struggle so Much With Letting go? Is it a fear of change or the unknown? Change is scary. Walking into the unkn

“Love pushes us to believe, even when reason tells us we should stop. Love compels us to move carefully, to consider the consequences of our actions. Love reminds us what’s worth fighting for, what isn’t. Love begs us to stop being passive and finally act. If you can’t write about us with a love for who we are as a people, what we’ve survived, what we’ve accomplished despite all attempts to keep us from doing so; if you can’t look at us as we are and feel your pupils go wide, rendering all stereotypes a sham, a poor copy, a disgrace—then why are you writing about us at all?” - Alicia Elliott, author of "Mind Spread Out on the Ground" I was a kid in the 1980s and a teenager in the 90s. I grew up in a Montreal suburban home with two cars, I had a dog and later, a cat, went to church every Sunday with my father, and went to a French elementary school despite being anglophone speaking. I took pride in my waist-length blonde hair and blue eyes. Throughout my childhood, I was told

“You know," he said with unusual somberness, "I asked my father once why kenders were little, why we weren't big like humans and elves. I really wanted to be big," he said softly and for a moment he was quiet. "What did your father say?" asked Fizban gently. "He said kenders were small because we were meant to do small things. 'If you look at all the big things in the world closely,' he said, 'you'll see that they're really made up of small things all joined together.' That big dragon down there comes to nothing but tiny drops of blood, maybe. It's the small things that make the difference.” - Margaret Weis, author, Dragons of Autumn Twilight, Dragonlance Chronicles Beautiful snow filled branch! As I sit in my living room, with my laptop perched on a pillow, I am typing this while I am savouring my morning coffee. There's nothing quite like that first cup of coffee in the morning! My curtains on my window are slightly pa

 "...I'll state my case of which I am certain I've lived a life that's full I've travelled each and every highway and much more than this, I did it my way"  - Written by Paul Anka, performed by Frank Sinatra and Sid Vicious  I have written extensively on the subject of recently finding my own self-confidence, having goals and just simply living life my way! I want to expand on how I am making my life about me and the key moments that influenced this new way of life.  I am at a period in my life where I am making it all about me! I see the road ahead and no one is going to stop me from taking my chosen path. No one. I have come too far! When I was at work on Monday and stepped into the washroom to take a selfie because there is a beautiful full-length mirror in there, I admired myself. Lately, I have been dressing for myself. I wear my makeup for me. I am not doing it for a job so I can "look normal" or even to impress a romantic interest. I invested

With a new year fast approaching, I am already looking back at 2022! I really can't help it! It was a crappy year for me but with a positive outlook, I realized this was a year of transformation. This period of change or evolution as I like to call it was long overdue and I am glad to be given the hard lessons I had to face. I am so happy that we have a month left of 2022 and I can look forward to bigger and better things next month when I start University and begin a new chapter of my life. So yeah, I am getting a head start at this new year, new me bullshit! Except, I am already a new me and I am quite happy with the woman I am today. It is thanks to the lessons I had to face over the past couple of months that made me the strong, resilient, high-value woman I am! Yes, I am having a feminist moment, bare with me! This year has taught me the importance of having goals , of looking inwards and asking myself "what is it that I really want? " and reaching for the stars. It

 I don't have an ex-husband, I have a Jay! We always promised each other that if something were to happen and we were to go our separate ways, we would remain friends and co-parent our baby bat together.  I must admit, things were rough at the beginning for the both of us when we first got divorced but once we adapted to our separate lives, Jay surprised me by being a really great friend.  In fact, he is now my best friend.  When Philip (our son, baby bat) was sick earlier this week with a stomach bug and laryngitis, once Jay recovered from the flu, he came over and helped out. I needed groceries, and they magically appeared in my fridge! Supper was made several times and I even got coffee made and brought to me! I got to recuperate after work while he did a lot of housecleaning. In fact, if it weren't for his help, I wouldn't have been able to go to work at all this week! When I got my heart broken last summer , he came over and held me while I cried. He gave me advice. He

"I never thought I'd have to take this much from you I wish I'd never used this precious time on you Because you didn't want me You never cried for me at all You didn't love me You were too far above me Then you watched me take the fall " - You Didn't Want Me, Mesh The past couple of months has been rough for me. It felt like I was taking one step forward to only taking three steps back! As a result, I went into Hermit mode and did a lot of shadow work. I also realized what I wanted and slowly started making goals for myself.   By having these goals, I could slowly crawl out of my depression and have the energy to face another day. Getting a part-time job really helped me because it gives me something to look forward to and there is so much I have to learn in this job, it really helps get my mind off things.  I have been a bit of a homebody lately. To be perfectly honest, this whole being-alone thing is new to me. Yes, I have my kid and I love hanging out