The Diary Of An Insane Bat Mom

Mother's Day is fast approaching, and for me, this day is bittersweet. While I am now a mother myself, the journey to this point was not an easy one. I suffered a miscarriage before having my child, and the memory of that loss still lingers. Mother's Day can be a difficult reminder of what could have been, but it's also a celebration of what I have. Before I had my child, Mother's Day was especially tough. I wasn't close with my own mother. I also remember one Mother's Day when I was a few months pregnant with my baby bat. It was a conflicting day for me, as I felt filled with both hope and heartbreak.  However, despite the difficulties, I have been blessed with an important maternal figure in my life: my sister Nancey. She has always gone above and beyond what an ordinary big sister should do. When I was struggling with my homework, she sat with me and helped me. Whenever I eagerly brought home the Scholastic Book flyer, I knew Nancey was the lady to suck up t

“Love pushes us to believe, even when reason tells us we should stop. Love compels us to move carefully, to consider the consequences of our actions. Love reminds us what’s worth fighting for, what isn’t. Love begs us to stop being passive and finally act. If you can’t write about us with a love for who we are as a people, what we’ve survived, what we’ve accomplished despite all attempts to keep us from doing so; if you can’t look at us as we are and feel your pupils go wide, rendering all stereotypes a sham, a poor copy, a disgrace—then why are you writing about us at all?” - Alicia Elliott, author of "Mind Spread Out on the Ground" I was a kid in the 1980s and a teenager in the 90s. I grew up in a Montreal suburban home with two cars, I had a dog and later, a cat, went to church every Sunday with my father, and went to a French elementary school despite being anglophone speaking. I took pride in my waist-length blonde hair and blue eyes. Throughout my childhood, I was told

Neon Genesis Evangelion Thrice Upon a Time movie was released in 2021 and is the fourth installment of the series. I have been a fan of this anime for years. In fact, it was one of the first animes I ever watched!  In 2021, Amakuni and Amiami released a beautiful 1/6 scale figure of Asuka Shikinami Langley to commemorate the movie. Being a big fan of this series, I had to pre-order this figure! Asuka holds a special place in my heart. I relate so much to this character. In the series, you can clearly see she has many symptoms associated with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) that are left untreated. She reminds me that I need to keep constant vigilance over my mental health and to continue seeking treatment. She is my lesson on who I could be if I let my symptoms take control of my life.  I waited almost two years for this figure and I was not disappointed when it arrived. It was totally worth the long wait! A beautifully crafted figure of Asuka Shikinami Langley  by  Amakuni and A

 "...I'll state my case of which I am certain I've lived a life that's full I've travelled each and every highway and much more than this, I did it my way"  - Written by Paul Anka, performed by Frank Sinatra and Sid Vicious  I have written extensively on the subject of recently finding my own self-confidence, having goals and just simply living life my way! I want to expand on how I am making my life about me and the key moments that influenced this new way of life.  I am at a period in my life where I am making it all about me! I see the road ahead and no one is going to stop me from taking my chosen path. No one. I have come too far! When I was at work on Monday and stepped into the washroom to take a selfie because there is a beautiful full-length mirror in there, I admired myself. Lately, I have been dressing for myself. I wear my makeup for me. I am not doing it for a job so I can "look normal" or even to impress a romantic interest. I invested

I recently posted about how I set personal goals for myself because this helps me to stay on track when it comes to my depression and anxiety. You can read this post here if you are interested.  In that post, I briefly mentioned how I might have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and I would like to expand on that. This is where I got the image One thing that many BPD sufferers do is seek external validation or approval and have an irrational fear of abandonment. As a result, we tend to push people away before they can leave us.  Very recently, I sought validation from someone who decided to be a huge ass dick and didn't give me the validation and approval I was so desperately seeking. At that time, I was furious. I *needed* the reassurance that this person wasn't going to abandon me, that this person cared about me and I was important. When I didn't get that validation, I was triggered and became quite toxic.  I decided to go into Hermit mode and I came to realize that