The Diary Of An Insane Bat Mom

Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) studying Last year, I outlined my goals for 2022-2023  and I'm thrilled to share that I've made significant strides in achieving most of them. I understand that setting goals might not resonate with everyone; however, from my standpoint, having specific targets has greatly contributed to maintaining my mental well-being. Did I tick off every single goal? No, and that's perfectly okay. Instead of dwelling on what I didn't achieve, I'm choosing to focus on the milestones I reached this past year, and I couldn't be prouder. Before delving into my new goals for 2024, let's take a closer look at what I managed to accomplish and what's still a work in progress. (1) Ask for help - This has been a personal struggle, but I've made strides. I've learned that seeking assistance doesn't signify weakness; rather, it's a strength. Breaking the habit of self-reliance was tough, yet the positive outcomes made it worthwhile. (

Around this time last year, I found myself at the lowest point in my life. My heart was broken, and depression consumed me, causing me to spiral out of control. Every day felt like a battle just to keep my head above water as I struggled to crawl out of the pit of despair. I spent months confined to my bed, lacking the energy or desire to do even the simplest tasks like showering or cleaning my house. But as time passed, I began to slowly pick myself up from the darkness. Usagi Tsukino, Sailor Moon (1992) Like a phoenix rising from its ashes, my journey of healing commenced with a life-changing event: receiving an acceptance letter from Concordia University. I was ecstatic to be admitted into my first-choice program, English Literature, even though I missed the deadline for the Fall Semester, and my studies would begin in the Winter. This opportunity motivated me to reignite my passions for reading and blogging, which brought genuine happiness into my life once again. When school star

''Some men are like chocolate But most of them are like shit And if you don't have the experience To spot that tiny difference You're likely to fall for all of it.''  Source: Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows, Some Men Are Like Chocolate, 2017, Les Fleurs Du Mal Album  "I spent months crying or waiting for someone who only gave me breadcrumbs'' Is a quote I heard someone say and  I can unfortunately relate to this sentiment where heartache intertwines with anticipation, for I too have dwelled in its melancholic embrace. And now, as I witness others experiencing this torment, it ignites a spark of inspiration within me, compelling me to write. I eventually recognised that I had expended countless months blaming myself for pursuing an illusion, an idea of someone or the mere concept of a relationship that I yearned for. Instead, I should have invested my time and energy in endeavours that truly mattered to me. Eventually, I took my power ba

The conclusion of my first semester as a University student has finally arrived, and with it comes a much-needed moment of respite. The weight of essays and finals has been lifted from my shoulders, allowing me to take a deep breath and shift my focus towards my job search. Looking back, I realize that I might have underestimated the academic rigor of University-level coursework, especially as an undergraduate, first semester student who hasn't been in school for about 20 years!  Only towards the end of the semester did I realize that I should have started with lower-level courses (level 200) instead. No wonder I struggled so much! I vividly recall the tears I shed when I received unsatisfactory grades on my first midterm essay and another midterm exam for a different course. However, I'm proud of myself for not letting those setbacks defeat me. I picked myself up and dusted off my ego, determined to do better. I took advantage of my professor's office hours and poured my h

Setting a butterfly free ( Meer ) Letting go of situations, people, jobs, and things that no longer serve you or your happiness is a step towards a productive life. Sometimes the decision itself to walk away is a difficult one to make but usually, in life, the most difficult decisions are the best ones. It doesn't matter what career you have or where you are in a personal relationship. Toxic is toxic. It is imperative to make sure you are living your life to its fullest. We often forget that our time here is limited and we need to make the best of it instead of just squandering it away on someone or a situation that is really doing more harm than good. Sometimes, we just need to walk away and focus on the things that matter to us. It sounds simple, doesn't it? Turns out, there is a whole process of letting go and it isn't as easy as we may think it is.  Why do we Struggle so Much With Letting go? Is it a fear of change or the unknown? Change is scary. Walking into the unkn

“Love pushes us to believe, even when reason tells us we should stop. Love compels us to move carefully, to consider the consequences of our actions. Love reminds us what’s worth fighting for, what isn’t. Love begs us to stop being passive and finally act. If you can’t write about us with a love for who we are as a people, what we’ve survived, what we’ve accomplished despite all attempts to keep us from doing so; if you can’t look at us as we are and feel your pupils go wide, rendering all stereotypes a sham, a poor copy, a disgrace—then why are you writing about us at all?” - Alicia Elliott, author of "Mind Spread Out on the Ground" I was a kid in the 1980s and a teenager in the 90s. I grew up in a Montreal suburban home with two cars, I had a dog and later, a cat, went to church every Sunday with my father, and went to a French elementary school despite being anglophone speaking. I took pride in my waist-length blonde hair and blue eyes. Throughout my childhood, I was told

A good visual representation of mental illness ( Plan Street Inc .) If you are an avid reader of this blog, you would know the subject of mental health is a common theme. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and was told by my psychiatrist that I have traits of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I struggle with my issues daily and I often find myself battling with my mind. After years of therapy and shadow work, I like to think that I am pretty good at knowing my triggers and what tools I can use in difficult moments. It is a lot of work and it can be exhausting.  Of Feeling Fulfilled; Dating, Friendships, Work, and School I wrote in my previous post " Our Story " about not needing to be in a romantic relationship to be happy. I also wrote that this was a lesson that I had to, unfortunately, learn the hard way. Sure, I miss having that special someone to complain about silly things to, to cuddle with while watching a movie, to talk about all sorts of things with, a

“You know," he said with unusual somberness, "I asked my father once why kenders were little, why we weren't big like humans and elves. I really wanted to be big," he said softly and for a moment he was quiet. "What did your father say?" asked Fizban gently. "He said kenders were small because we were meant to do small things. 'If you look at all the big things in the world closely,' he said, 'you'll see that they're really made up of small things all joined together.' That big dragon down there comes to nothing but tiny drops of blood, maybe. It's the small things that make the difference.” - Margaret Weis, author, Dragons of Autumn Twilight, Dragonlance Chronicles Beautiful snow filled branch! As I sit in my living room, with my laptop perched on a pillow, I am typing this while I am savouring my morning coffee. There's nothing quite like that first cup of coffee in the morning! My curtains on my window are slightly pa