The Diary Of An Insane Bat Mom

''Some men are like chocolate But most of them are like shit And if you don't have the experience To spot that tiny difference You're likely to fall for all of it.''  Source: Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows, Some Men Are Like Chocolate, 2017, Les Fleurs Du Mal Album  "I spent months crying or waiting for someone who only gave me breadcrumbs'' Is a quote I heard someone say and  I can unfortunately relate to this sentiment where heartache intertwines with anticipation, for I too have dwelled in its melancholic embrace. And now, as I witness others experiencing this torment, it ignites a spark of inspiration within me, compelling me to write. I eventually recognised that I had expended countless months blaming myself for pursuing an illusion, an idea of someone or the mere concept of a relationship that I yearned for. Instead, I should have invested my time and energy in endeavours that truly mattered to me. Eventually, I took my power ba

“Love pushes us to believe, even when reason tells us we should stop. Love compels us to move carefully, to consider the consequences of our actions. Love reminds us what’s worth fighting for, what isn’t. Love begs us to stop being passive and finally act. If you can’t write about us with a love for who we are as a people, what we’ve survived, what we’ve accomplished despite all attempts to keep us from doing so; if you can’t look at us as we are and feel your pupils go wide, rendering all stereotypes a sham, a poor copy, a disgrace—then why are you writing about us at all?” - Alicia Elliott, author of "Mind Spread Out on the Ground" I was a kid in the 1980s and a teenager in the 90s. I grew up in a Montreal suburban home with two cars, I had a dog and later, a cat, went to church every Sunday with my father, and went to a French elementary school despite being anglophone speaking. I took pride in my waist-length blonde hair and blue eyes. Throughout my childhood, I was told

***Disclaimer: If you have been reading my previous posts, you will know that I used to refer to my kid as he/him. While I have been aware of this for a while now, it is only recently she asked me to change her pronouns to she/her. I ask that you be respectful. *** My first post on this blog was about my pregnancy and the harrowing experience I encountered.  I would like to sum up what happened after: I was 30 weeks pregnant here. This is right before my placenta previa diagnosis. Breast vs Bottle If you are very pro-breastfeeding, please skip this section and before I go any further, no I am not interested in hearing "but if you tried harder, you could have done it" or hearing about how if I did x,y,z, I would have been able to. Considering my kid is almost a teenager, I don't think this information would be useful to me anymore! I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I do strongly believe that it is the best thing you could do for your child. On the other hand, I strongly

“You know," he said with unusual somberness, "I asked my father once why kenders were little, why we weren't big like humans and elves. I really wanted to be big," he said softly and for a moment he was quiet. "What did your father say?" asked Fizban gently. "He said kenders were small because we were meant to do small things. 'If you look at all the big things in the world closely,' he said, 'you'll see that they're really made up of small things all joined together.' That big dragon down there comes to nothing but tiny drops of blood, maybe. It's the small things that make the difference.” - Margaret Weis, author, Dragons of Autumn Twilight, Dragonlance Chronicles Beautiful snow filled branch! As I sit in my living room, with my laptop perched on a pillow, I am typing this while I am savouring my morning coffee. There's nothing quite like that first cup of coffee in the morning! My curtains on my window are slightly pa

My Holiday festivities started when I was invited to my friend's birthday party earlier this month. It was a formal affair and since I lost a considerable amount of weight, I had a cornucopia of clothing to choose from! I decided on a simple black dress that had a small layer of tulle underneath. Once I tried the dress on, I immediately got Sailor Moon vibes and I was inspired! Here is a cute photo of me!  A gothic Moon Princess! Working part-time during this period has made the Holiday preparations less stressful. I got to make a lovely homemade tourtière  (meat pie) My father was French Canadian and I tend to miss him this time of the year. Being able to make this dish is an excellent way to honour his memory. Unfortunately, I didn't take any photos but the pie is safe in my freezer and we are all excited to devour it on the 24th!  Considering Dad was French Canadian and my mom was an Anglophone, my dad tried to pass on some of his traditions to me when I was younger. Usual

 "...I'll state my case of which I am certain I've lived a life that's full I've travelled each and every highway and much more than this, I did it my way"  - Written by Paul Anka, performed by Frank Sinatra and Sid Vicious  I have written extensively on the subject of recently finding my own self-confidence, having goals and just simply living life my way! I want to expand on how I am making my life about me and the key moments that influenced this new way of life.  I am at a period in my life where I am making it all about me! I see the road ahead and no one is going to stop me from taking my chosen path. No one. I have come too far! When I was at work on Monday and stepped into the washroom to take a selfie because there is a beautiful full-length mirror in there, I admired myself. Lately, I have been dressing for myself. I wear my makeup for me. I am not doing it for a job so I can "look normal" or even to impress a romantic interest. I invested

With a new year fast approaching, I am already looking back at 2022! I really can't help it! It was a crappy year for me but with a positive outlook, I realized this was a year of transformation. This period of change or evolution as I like to call it was long overdue and I am glad to be given the hard lessons I had to face. I am so happy that we have a month left of 2022 and I can look forward to bigger and better things next month when I start University and begin a new chapter of my life. So yeah, I am getting a head start at this new year, new me bullshit! Except, I am already a new me and I am quite happy with the woman I am today. It is thanks to the lessons I had to face over the past couple of months that made me the strong, resilient, high-value woman I am! Yes, I am having a feminist moment, bare with me! This year has taught me the importance of having goals , of looking inwards and asking myself "what is it that I really want? " and reaching for the stars. It