The Diary Of An Insane Bat Mom

 "Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. While mindfulness is something we all naturally possess, it’s more readily available to us when we practice on a daily basis. Whenever you bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your state of mind via your thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful." Source:  mindful.org My biggest influence when it comes to practicing mindfulness was my son. He has Asperger's and we went to a very crowded con last summer. Lots of noises, people, and cosplays were a lot for him to handle. We were smart, we made a game plan before hitting the con. We found quiet places for him to go and cool down if things got too much for him. We even had a scale of 1 to 10 on how bad things were. 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest. Once he told me he felt like he was hitting an 8 or a 9

If you know me personally, you would know that I identify with the Goth subculture. I like to think I am a kick-ass dresser, I love the music and literature. It is part of who I am despite the many times I have gone normal, I always found my way back. If you also know me personally, you would know that I love anime and have a soft spot for cute things. I think it is important to have many facets to your personality and it would be fun to write about all the non-goth things I enjoy! The first item on my list of un-goth confessions is Sailor Moon. This was the first anime I ever watched. I was very fortunate to have had access to an English subbed version when I was a teenager. I remember when the show began to air on TV. I was very disappointed because I knew Sailor Moon as Usagi and not Serena. I knew Tuxedo Mask as Mamoru and not Darian. Don't get me started on the whole "cousins" thing either! Sailor Uranus and Neptune are a lesbian couple and it pisses me off to no end

***Disclaimer: I am NOT a mental health professional. I am simply stating techniques that have worked for me. If you struggle with negative self-talk, suicidal ideation, depression, and/or anxiety, I STRONGLY recommend you seek a certified professional.***   If you read my posts, you would know I am a prominent mental health awareness advocate. Today, I would like to cover the topic of negative self-talk.  This scene, from the anime, Neon Genesis Evangelion, really resonates with me. A lot of her inner dialogue often reflects my own. In fact, the character, Asuka, reminds me a lot of myself: While many blog posts are available on this subject, all the suggestions are the same. They all recommend meditation, positive affirmations, therapy and the usual hippie bullshit.  Don't get me wrong, I do all those things. I love meditating, therapy has helped me immensely and I still listen to positive affirmations to this day. They do help but sometimes, it is hard to quiet the monkeys in yo

 "We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents." - Bob Ross Well, dear readers, I got a funny story for you all. It all happened on Friday when I went to a job interview. I thought I was prepared by laying out my clothes the night before. I forgot that most of my corp goth outfits don't quite fit me due to the weight gain that happened over the pandemic. I still got a whopping 15 pounds to lose and I thought "oh I am sure it will fit, I will be fine." That was my death wish indeed! Those are the best final words I could have muttered to myself before falling asleep last night! I got up early enough and since I had plenty of time to spare, I decided to watch a movie. I somehow lost track of time and had to get ready in a hurry. I picked out my best undergarments as I wanted to feel confident (there is a point to this, I will get to it in a bit, trust me!) Seriously ladies, wear those sexy undergarments if that is your thing! It really does help boost y

 The Neighbors by Sylvie Dubois Kayla Darian recently took up residence in Sooke, British Columbia, Canada. Located at the southern tip of Vancouver Island, this quaint, charming, harbour-side town is nestled between lush rainforests and beautiful beaches that are swept alongside the Pacific ocean. The reason why Kayla decided to take up residence in the quaint little town was not her own, the real reason for the move was Bill Kagen.

I have always been an animal lover for as long as I can remember. I even sometimes comment that I often prefer animals to people! I got my dog, Storm about 5 years ago. At that time, I was still married and my husband has a fear of large dogs. We compromised. I could get a dog, as long as it was a small breed. I always wanted to own a chihuahua and after some research, I felt like this was the perfect breed for me. They are tiny, they are intelligent, super cuddly, and they are apartment friendly. Plus, I think they are adorable.  I know that chihuahuas can be vicious and yappy so I consulted my vet when I got her. I was strongly advised to socialize her early on and that is exactly what I did! The weekend I brought her home, I had people come over, after all, who doesn't want to see a puppy? Once her vaccines were up to date, I began to train her to walk on a leash, we went out for lots of walks and she got to meet other dogs. Today, she is super friendly, she loves people and oth

I recently posted about how I set personal goals for myself because this helps me to stay on track when it comes to my depression and anxiety. You can read this post here if you are interested.  In that post, I briefly mentioned how I might have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and I would like to expand on that. This is where I got the image One thing that many BPD sufferers do is seek external validation or approval and have an irrational fear of abandonment. As a result, we tend to push people away before they can leave us.  Very recently, I sought validation from someone who decided to be a huge ass dick and didn't give me the validation and approval I was so desperately seeking. At that time, I was furious. I *needed* the reassurance that this person wasn't going to abandon me, that this person cared about me and I was important. When I didn't get that validation, I was triggered and became quite toxic.  I decided to go into Hermit mode and I came to realize that

This is where I got the image!!! Unfortunately, I am one of the many people in the world today that has a lot of mental health issues. With therapy, a healthy dose of the right anti-depressants, meditation, journaling and sheer will, I am functional... well most of the time!  I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I do not have a full-blown diagnosis yet, but it was pointed out by my shrink that I have a lot of symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, also known as, BPD.   One thing that keeps my mental health in check is by making goals for myself. It gives me something to work for, and to look forward to. I thought I would share my goals here to motivate myself to do them and hopefully, some of this advice can be useful for anyone who is battling depression.  Here is my list of goals for 2022-2023: (1) Ask for help - I struggle at this. I always prefer to be the person that comes running whenever something bad happens in someone else's life. I need to accept and ask for

"...And I thank you For bringing me here For showing me home For singing these tears Finally I've found That I belong Feels like home I should have known From my first breath" - Home by Depeche Mode Side note: Yes, I chose a cheesy title for this blog post. Yes, you can laugh and kudos to you if you read the title in a sarcastic/cynical tone! I love being a cheeseball at times! A couple of nights ago, I had a dream about my dad. I was a teenager again and we were sitting at the kitchen table. I was in distress. My dad was a very stoic man who had no clue when it comes to dealing with a teenage girl in crisis. He would just casually stand up, turn on the kettle and announce he was making me a cup of tea.  Anyone who knows me well knows I have a love for coffee but tea can be important too. Tea reminds me of the very few happy childhood memories I have. Tea reminds me of my grandmother who bought me my first tea set. Granted, it wasn't anything special, it was a toy but