My goals to help cope with depression and anxiety

This is where I got the image!!!

Unfortunately, I am one of the many people in the world today that has a lot of mental health issues. With therapy, a healthy dose of the right anti-depressants, meditation, journaling and sheer will, I am functional... well most of the time! 

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I do not have a full-blown diagnosis yet, but it was pointed out by my shrink that I have a lot of symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, also known as, BPD.  

One thing that keeps my mental health in check is by making goals for myself. It gives me something to work for, and to look forward to. I thought I would share my goals here to motivate myself to do them and hopefully, some of this advice can be useful for anyone who is battling depression. 

Here is my list of goals for 2022-2023:

(1) Ask for help - I struggle at this. I always prefer to be the person that comes running whenever something bad happens in someone else's life. I need to accept and ask for help when I need it.  

(2) Invest in me and my hobbies - Being a mom, we tend to put everyone first and often neglect our needs and downtime. There is nothing wrong with taking an extra long bubble bath or spending time and money on things that you enjoy doing. This also means continuing to take my meds on a daily basis. I am also going to include my hobbies in this section. I collect anime figurines and Sailor Moon merchandise. This gives me a sense of pride and happiness whenever I look at my ever-growing collection. This also means to continue watching horror movies and watching bad/low-budget films because they make me laugh. I obviously want to continue watching anime and reading manga. It is important to have hobbies!

(3) Weight Loss - I have been doing great in this department, don't give up! This has been an uphill battle, the results have been slow but steady but I haven't given up!  I have also started buying new clothes to fit into my slimmer body. I should occasionally purchase more clothes to celebrate!

(4) Get a part-time job - Now that I am accepted into University and will be starting full-time in January, I can now resume my job search. Since I applied for school, I put this on the back burner until I knew for certain where I was going in a few months. I didn't see the point of learning the ropes at a new full-time job than having to quit in a few months because I plan on taking classes!

(5) Start saving for my trip to Japan - For years, I have told everyone that I dream of going to Japan. How I would love to see the crazy fashions of the Harajuku district, shop for anime merch in Akihabara, see all the Sailor Moon landmarks in the Juban district, and enjoy the cherry blossoms!  There is so much to see over there! 

(6) Have a successful first semester at University - Keep in mind, I have been out of school for many years. I am going back to school in my forties. Don't put too much pressure on me to be at the top of my class. Just concentrate on my studies and do my best. I know how competitive I can get! I don't need the added anxiety of getting top grades. Just get used to going to class, and doing the assignments and exams! Enjoy my time as a student because I want to make some good memories to reflect on! The important thing is to have an acceptable GPA and to pass my classes!

(7) Get a Victorian dollhouse - I know this list item sounds kind of screwy, but I had a cute dollhouse that my dad made me when I was a little girl. I would spend hours playing with it. Unfortunately, the dollhouse was discarded and while I could never replace the one my dad made for me, I should get something really nice. I want something that brings me happiness and reminds me of one of the few happy moments I had when I was a child. I have seen some kits you can get online so you can build one yourself.  I think this would be a great way to honour my dad and I will have a cool decoration for my living room! These "easy to assemble" kits can be pretty expensive, especially for the size and style I want. I just think it would be a cool keepsake to have and it would make me really frigging happy! I will also hit two birds with one stone on this item because I know I will need to ask for help with the assembling part! 

(8) Find small, reachable goals on bad days - Sometimes, items on this list can be daunting on bad days when I just can't do anything or think straight. I don't go hard on myself by calling myself a failure anymore. Instead, depending on my depression level, I find one or several small tasks to do. It could be something simple like taking a shower or brushing my teeth. Once I accomplish these tasks, I remind myself that I was able to do it and it makes me feel better, like I did something, even if it's small, because I sincerely thought I wouldn't be able to! Having these small simple tasks enables me to have the motivation to get out of bed. If I were to accomplish something small (like running the dishwasher), my day was a success! By doing something simple that I have the energy to do is easier for me to let go of the idea that my house is a mess or I neglected something I shouldn't have neglected. I tend to not go hard on myself. 

(9) Stop overanalyzing everything and apply the KISS method - The joys of being good friends with your ex-husband and father of your kid, the dude knows me better than anyone else! He recently pointed out that I spend too much time overanalyzing every situation. I get it. I have anxiety and that is what anxious people do! While it is entertaining to come up with all these theories and what I would do if I were to encounter a certain scenario, sometimes it is better to just focus on what I know. Don't get me wrong, overanalyzing can be fun. I have a great imagination and often imagine myself handling certain situations in an alternative universe but it can be draining. I also often imagine these outlandish negative theories. Although this is very amusing, this often does not apply to the real world. I often let these worst-case scenario theories get to me and I get upset over real stupid, petty shit that hasn't even happened or may not happen yet! 

Anyways, my ex invented the KISS method. Kiss is an acronym for Keep It Simple Stupid! By the way, I was not insulted and not even offended by this but highly amused over his acronym and I commend him on his creativity! In fact, I know he came up with the acronym because he knew I would laugh and we both know that I am not stupid. When I do catch myself overanalyzing something minor, I often tell myself "Keep it simple, stupid!" and I laugh. I am usually able to move on after that. 

(10)  Keep being a strong, independent, high-value woman who sets boundaries  - To be perfectly honest,  I became good at setting boundaries with people in general but when it came to romantic relationships, I became a bit of a pushover. I didn't know what I wanted and sometimes found myself completely flabbergasted when my relationships never turned into anything serious. In fact, I totally sucked at the whole relationship thing since my divorce. Thanks to recent events, I gained the self-confidence to set boundaries regarding romantic partners and I am going to be picky going forward. I have no patience for "situationships" and will be very selective from the start about who I plan on dating. I know what I want and won't settle for anything else! I am also going to reiterate here that I will continue to reinforce boundaries with anyone, not just the cute potential partners! Having boundaries is important and equally important to respect anyone else's. In addition, always remember, only I can give myself the validation and approval I often need. I can do this on my own!

Lastly, if you suffer from anxiety and/or depression, perhaps this list can help you. Also, please don't be so hard on yourself if you can't do anything but sleep or just zone out. It is OK to have days where it is harder to get out of bed (or even get out of bed at all) and there will be days when you just don't feel like bothering doing simple chores. It is OK to feel that way too, I have been there! 

 Lots of love and healing energy! You got this!