The Calm Before the Storm

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"I never thought I'd have to take this much from you
I wish I'd never used this precious time on you
Because you didn't want me
You never cried for me at all
You didn't love me
You were too far above me
Then you watched me take the fall " - You Didn't Want Me, Mesh


The past couple of months has been rough for me. It felt like I was taking one step forward to only taking three steps back! As a result, I went into Hermit mode and did a lot of shadow work. I also realized what I wanted and slowly started making goals for myself.  By having these goals, I could slowly crawl out of my depression and have the energy to face another day. Getting a part-time job really helped me because it gives me something to look forward to and there is so much I have to learn in this job, it really helps get my mind off things. 

I have been a bit of a homebody lately. To be perfectly honest, this whole being-alone thing is new to me. Yes, I have my kid and I love hanging out with him but I am glad for the weekends when he goes to his dad's. I get time to myself. I was never comfortable being alone and now I actually look forward to it! I am loving the idea of having a dog. I get so many cuddles when I am home and she is the perfect companion! 

Life is always better with a dog! I love my sleepy puppy, Storm!


Since school hasn't started yet for me, in my free time, I have been cooking and baking a lot more. In fact, as I am typing this, I have gumbo slowly cooking on my stove and an apple crisp in my oven! I do love to bake and seeing the look of delight on my friends and family's faces while they devour a homemade dessert always makes me happy! 


I can't wait to dive into this! I even plan on putting a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top!


When I am not cooking or cleaning, I am watching movies and reading. I am still reading the first three novels of The Dragonlance Chronicles and I am loving it! If you are interested in knowing what I am currently reading and looking for recommendations, I strongly recommend you periodically check out my "reading list" section of this blog! I must admit, it looks kinda lonely now but since I will be an English Literature student, I expect this section to fill up quickly when school starts! I can't wait!

Life may seem boring right now. There is not much going on but I am enjoying this moment of reprieve. I am finally able to breathe and come up for air. While not much is happening in my social life, I am quite content in the little bubble I have built for myself. There is no more negativity around me and the most beautiful part of it all is that I finally feel comfortable in my own skin again. I am comfortable with the way I look and feel on the inside. I also feel more self-confident. All that inner work and shadow work is finally coming to fruition and I am so grateful for this moment of serenity! I am enjoying these quiet moments because I know after New Year, I will be busy with everything else. I am so happy that I took these past few months to reflect, to figure out where I wanted to go in my life and it is nice to see things going in that direction. 



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