Supporting a Trans Kid

"It's just a phase" is a sentence that I became all too familiar with during my childhood. Little did I know how much impact those words would have on me when I faced my own battles with depression. It began with my mother uttering that dismissive phrase. To her, my depression was nothing more than a passing phase since I was just a child. However, those words cut deep and made me feel abandoned as if my emotional turmoil was insignificant and unworthy of attention. Instead of receiving the support and understanding I desperately needed, those four words felt like chains, keeping me locked in my struggles with no way to escape. They pushed me further into despair, leading me to make harmful decisions.

During my teenage years, I found solace in the goth subculture. To many, especially my mother, those famous four words were once again uttered. As an adult, I can see why to so many people, it may have seemed like was "just a phase," but it was far more than that to me. Being goth became an essential part of my identity, shaping the way I saw the world and connecting me with the beauty in the macabre. Even when I tried to conform to societal norms, I could never shake my gothic soul. Embracing my true self, dressing in black, and dying my hair brought a sense of liberation and happiness.

Years later, when my child came out to me as trans, I knew that I had to be the support she needed. I hugged her tightly and assured her that I would be there every step of the way, but also acknowledged that I couldn't fully understand her experience. To help her on her journey, I reached out to transgender friends for advice and guidance. Together, we discussed options and plans for her future, all the while emphasizing that it was her decision when and how to come out to the world.

Sadly, even after she came out, some well-meaning individuals told me the same dismissive phrase, claiming that being transgender was just a trend or a phase. As a parent and as someone who experienced this firsthand, I knew how harmful and misguided these words could be. My child's gender identity was not mine to define or belittle. I realized that I may never fully comprehend her struggles, but my role was not to dictate her identity or dismiss her feelings. her life, her future, and her journey were hers alone, and my duty was to be her unwavering support, her rock, and her safe haven.

I vowed never to undermine her emotions or invalidate her identity with thoughtless phrases like "It's just a phase." My own experiences taught me the damage such words can inflict. Instead, I chose to stand by her side, defending her fiercely when needed and celebrating her uniqueness. My child is not an extension of me; She is her own person, deserving of love, respect, and acceptance. Understanding this, I let go of any preconceived notions and opened my heart to embrace her for who she truly is—bold, brave, and beautifully authentic.