A touch of insanity is always good for a girl

If you watched the TV series, "Invader Zim" by Jhonen Vasquez, you would know that the character, Zim laughs maniacally whenever shit hits the fan or he is up to no good. I feel like Zim right now. It feels like the world around me is one colossal dumpster fire and I am up in my spaceship or little house with garden gnomes, sitting at my desktop, just laughing maniacally. 

For context, here is a humourous gif of Zim's maniacal laugh. If you can hear images, this would be the one! Have fun, enjoy!

I guess it is no surprise to you, dear readers, that I have ultimately and utterly lost my shit. You see, over a year ago, I didn't follow my gut when it came to this certain individual. Turns out, I was lucky and noticed before anything major can happen but I like to think that I had a horseshoe up my butt, two guardian angels at my side, and four leaf clovers shoved up my nose. In simpler terms, I narrowly avoided a nuclear explosion! 

I decided then and there to be the good little girl and always listen to her gut and follow her instincts. This time I did and I ignored some minor red flags because "my gut is never wrong", "I am insecure and this has gotten me in trouble in the past" and my all-time favourite "the heart wants, what the heart wants!"

Do you remember when you were a kid and you would watch the circus? You would see a small car pull up and watch as a shit load of clowns would bumble out? They goof around and one of them throws a pie in the other's face? Well, I feel like I got hit in the face with a pie! 

This post is me telling the Universe or god or whatever deity that is out there to screw off! Today is the first day I managed to get my ass out of bed, do my chores and get dressed. I am gonna continue being angry because it seems to me, being angry is the only thing that can get me to face another day. Seriously, I feel like a teenager again and want to do something reckless. Yes, I almost pulled an early 2000s Britney Spears and almost shaved my hair off. 

I am in a period of anger. I am angry at myself for allowing this to happen. It is no longer anger towards people who did me wrong. I can't control other people's actions but I can control mine. I will no longer put up with crap. In fact, my bullshit tolerance level on the meter is quite small. If there is the faintest aroma of crap in the air, I am simply walking!

If you are a close friend or a family member I still talk to, please know this is not directed at you. I wish life could be like a movie right now. You know the scene where you throw a match, walk away casually and there is this huge explosion behind you? That would be me except I would be wearing a cute outfit, have my hair in Sailor Moon buns and wearing my cute Nightmare Before Christmas sneakers! I would also be laughing maniacally too. 

I am at the point where I am yelling "come at me" to the rooftops because I am so angry I just don't care anymore. I like to think this experience is allowing me to be funny. At least I have a sense of humour!

So without further adieu, here is proof that I have not shaved my locks but merely trimmed them a little. I shaved my head once. It doesn't look good on me and the grow-out process will only further piss me off. Plus, I spent my morning cleaning my floors. I am too lazy to clean ALL that hair up when I was done shaving. You know, you can be insane but the cleanup after a mental breakdown is always annoying! I am flipping the bird in this photo because a year ago, these pants and this shirt did not fit me anymore. I lost weight and now it fits. So screw you Universe and go me on the weight loss. This outfit is not my best outfit. I don't think the shirt matches the pants but I was on a roll! They fit and I was spending the day at home with my dog, so I don't care! 

As a side, I will be working on some more creative writing. I am just busy being angry and annoyed. Lately, it feels like a struggle to keep my head above water. While most things that have happened are out of my control, I am just fed up with my streak of bad luck. It's my turn now! Enough already!